I Won't Bow to Bad Memories
Nova had felt off for awhile now. She couldn't find her fighting rhythm and it was throwing off not only herself but the Stealth Guard's normal flow. "I'm taking off for a training mission." she anounces to the boys one day. Both were slightly shocked by the sudden out burst but didn't have a chance to question it since she was already leaving. Nova had filled her requip storage with different materials and supplies to last her for months! With no destination in mind, Nova ran. She could feel the cool air whipping past her face as her hair flew behind her. The ground beneath her barefeet changed from smooth, grassy earth to a rocky, damp bed near a stream. It was slippery and of course a river can't continue forever... But still she ran. Nova pushed herself even when her lungs burned and all her muscles screamed in protest. As she flew across the terrain there was no thoughts in her mind for she had surpressed them. Just as she was about to collapse a sickening feeling crept through her veins. Super Nova. "No! I don't need you! I can do this." she screamed in her mind. But the spread of icy power continued. It wouldn't be contained. There. Just another 100 meters and the river became a waterfall. Her control was flickering. Three steps. Two steps. One and- The mage flung herself forward, feeling herself lose it as she hurled to the freezing pool below. The water was a slap in the face and Nova was able to force down her darker self. The rolling water thrash her every which way until her head breaks surface. She swims against the current at a diagonal. After reaching shore Nova realizes how stupid her decision was. "I could have drowned..." she laughs. "But I didn't! That was reckless but I survived!" Her entire body is shaking and she's drenched but she can't stop giggling at her ridiculous stunt. Nova doesn't have the energy to move so she requips dry clothes on and falls asleep. (Next Day) "I need to control Super Nova... I can call her forth when I want but a lot of times it's unexpected." Sitting down cross legged, Nova puts herself in a meditative state and goes into her mind. (Inside Nova's Mind) (Nova's POV) "I need to find where my connection with my dark side started soooo... I should go through memories!" I think. As I drift back in time I see wonderful things... Fighting side by side with the Stealth Guard, joining Koma Inu, crushing that godforsaken ring... But I push back even further. The images are darker and more brutal. Blood is a constant but the source is every changing. That's when I see the flicker. I follow it and it seems to fade into the ground. It seems important so I'm worried. "No! Wait!" I yell as I attempt to dig it up. I force myself even further back to figure out what it was. Agreeing to marry Crowley, becoming his personal soldier, training, joining Shattered Dusk, being wrapped in hatred at six. Then I hit the wall. It's a hazy transparent so my curiosity throws me forward, pushing at it and trying to break it until-'' I'm thrown from my own mind and forced to my hands and knees as I begin retching, A flash of intense pain and the smell of burnt flesh had caused me to rebound. Tears stream down my face as I get a memory fragment... ''It's nighttime. My older sister sprints through the wet grass. She's crying but tells me to not look away from her face. I look back and I see-'' That's it. That's where the memory ends... what happened? I know there was a light source because I could she my sister's face. I have a sister! I need to know more. I regain my position and return to my memories. ''I see a building burning and hear the screams of people trapped inside. Sissy, I asked, Where's mama, daddy, and brother? Why aren't they here? Because they had to go somewhere else Nov... they went somewhere special and we can't follow them. So we have to run, okay? Run and never stop. She responds. Her breath hitched on they word okay. I want to go with mommy and daddy but sissy needs me more right now. I wrap my arms around her neck and smile. It will be okay sissy, I say. Once again the memory shatters and I'm forced to empty the contents of my stomach. My chest hurts as I realize what must have happened... my family died in a house fire. I was smelling their burning bodies and I didn't understand at the time. That's enough for today... I never want to return there again. Tears streak down my face as I fall asleep that night. (Next Day) My eyes are puffy and raw... My memories are clamped down inside my head. I would rather not see them if that's the pain I will have to endure. It feels like every tissue in my heart is slowly being torn away and burned... I won't go back. I sleep the entire day. (Next Day) I awake to a hiss in my head. Noooooovaaaaa. Come back to see me. I thought you wanted to know my origin. "I don't need you. I say aloud. Nothing is worth entering that Hell again." What happened to you Nova? We got along smashingly in you dark guild days. Remember? You were in control then. "I was doing terrible things! I was hurting people just because I could. You're no fun anymore... enjoy you magic at half power. "What? Come back here! What do you mean?" When you gut your courage, you know where to find me. I stand up. "Requip." I'm only able to some one of the twin blades at full power. When I try to summon the other they both don't fill me with the sense of confidence and strength I'm used to. "Requip." I can't even summon Dark Vision. I forged that sword myself... and it doesn't believe in me anymore so it won't come. My assassin's armor stats are low and Hail Mary feels strong but not indestructible. When I summon the aeris armor the wings won't lift me off the ground. I've given up. The one thing I promised I wouldn't do. And now my magic has turned against me. I sprint to the nearest tree and take my anger out on it. I'm mostly beating on my own body though because when I'm done my hands are bruised and bloodied and I've broken an ankle. I pass out right there. (Next Day) I wake up feeling like I'm being burned alive. I panic until I realize it's mid afternoon and I have severe sunburn.I'm broken, bloodied, burnt, as well as dehydrated and I also haven't eaten in two days. But I can't move. "Fine." I say, my voice so hoarse it's a whisper."I'll keep going. I can't get much worse can I?" Sissy slips and I tumble a bit away. A man steps out from the nearby woods and grins manically. Sissy screams at me to run but I won't leave without her. Just go! She yells, sobbing. But I can't now the man has me pinned down by magic. I watch as he reaches my sister and lifts her by the throat.He forces my eyes to stay open as he runs her through with a clawed hand. She coughs blood and everything I know is shattered. I snap. I scream. And then I transform. Small black horns force there way through my skin and my teeth get longer and sharpen.My hands are now claws as well and I only have one desire... Protect Sissy until help comes. In a flash I'm face to face with the man, hovering in mid air. I smile wickedly as I slash him repeatedly. I can smell that there are more of them. Every last one will pay. '' ''The next morning I wake up covered in blood next to my sister. She holds my hand lightly but her eyes are glazed over and she's no longer breathing. I remember what she told me. I kiss her forehead and cheeks, close her eyes, pick a small bouquet of flowers, and follow her instructions I run. To a different town where I repress my memories... The day after I'm just a six year old covered in blood and without a past. I'' ''force myself to push even more and I realize why it hurt so much. My memories before then were beautiful. We weren't rich but well off enough to live contently. We went on picnics, hikes, did fun things for holidays, my older siblings were very loving and my parents loved all three of us equally. I see a memory where me and my brother are baking and he puts a scoop of frosting on my nose so I put a flour hand print on his shirt. My mom and I singing. My sister and I picking flowers and weaving them into our hair and making crowns. Dad playing knights with me and me getting to be a dragon. They may be dead but their life was full before it ended. And I shall not let myself dishonor the happiness they gave me by moping. Even though It's agony I make myself stand and walk the 200 meters to the calm water. As soon as my foot hits the water I feel it begin to heal. I submerge myself and focus on every reason I have to be happy. Every person I have to live for. Each one increases my strength tenfold. My mom. My dad. My brother. Sissy. And those at the guild too. Scorpius, Zero, Aiden, Umi, Tojima, Niwatori, Ahneybeth, Shifuku, Arthur. And most of all the one who returned me to the light: Lady Inari. My heart fills and I let out a roar. As long as they have my back I will never be alone... and I will never be defeated. It's time.